My Thoughts Won't Stop (the birds keep singing)

from by Chii

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about

The title explains it really. I'm struggling, I'm trying to hold it together, keep a clear mind, but I'm driven insane by all these ideas and stuff. The headaches. The tension in my skull. My thoughts will not stop, my head is going to explode, I can’t escape this cage.

For me this song just continues the theme this album has with being overwhelmed by life. 'Drowning in this Fire' means a few different thing to me, one of which is about drowning in my thoughts and my overactive mind. People often tell me it's awesome how creative I am and they wish they were as freely creative as I am, but it really has its downsides. I love to create, but with where I am right now, my mind is just a total mess. There were times during this album's writing process where I was lying awake for hours at night on the verge of throwing up because my brain could not handle all the ideas I was getting. It's like I'm a computer and the fan is always running very high. I really make a conscious intention with every album, to not get so wrapped up in it that it takes over my life, but I can't stop the inspiration when it comes. I feel like I serve my mind, not the other way around, and that definitely got to me on this album and found its way into the songs.

The whole 'birds' thing for me... It's kind of showing a little hope. It hints at the next album. I was reading a lot on Zen Buddhism and Taoism when I was writing this piece and I think it seeped into my consciousness that it's just my own judgements about things that make me suffer. My erratic thoughts are represented this crazy sporadic guitar thing, which seamlessly fades into a sample I recorded of some birds singing, which isn't erratic, it's beautiful... but sounds the same. It's all a judgement and maybe everything is perfect as it is. It's just a glimpse at a different view of reality than the bleak one this album has.

credits

from Drowning in This Fire, released April 12, 2017

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Chii Sheffield, UK

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